Most of us would have had our gender preferences before our babies are born for varied reasons. But eventually we all know that we are so happy with our babies. Last year, I attended a talk by a professor from IIMB, and she said when boys are girls are born they are just the same emotionally, all of them cry, am I right?
But few years later when your daughter falls down and cries we all run towards her pick her up kiss her and say it’s ok. When the boy falls, yes we do care but then when he cries, everyone says don’t cry like a girl. The next time he falls he will cry secretly, and the next time his tears dry up. So we have made the rough and tough man and the delicate girl.
Raising a Girl:
Let me start with my upbringing, though my parents were very protective they have never stopped me from doing anything. But I have sacrificed some of my adventurous hangouts just seeing them fear.
With so much we hear about abuse, it definitely takes a lot to protect your girl. But then you should not transfer your fears to your girl and make her scared of everyone around. Abuse happens only to girls who are timid and scared.
Girls are very mature and you need to consider their emotions during every step of upbringing.
Girls always share their life with their parents, so my parents know all my friends their parents and we have so many family friends because of that. Its always fun to have a girl around who goes on and on, we are two girls so there is never a quiet moment at home. But lots of arguments too, which can land up in fights. hehe
Finally I would like to end saying, please don’t raise a girl as “paraya dhan”, I’m sorry for using this phrase, as someone said this to my little girl when she was born and I just fumed. Girls are no one’s property. My daughter chose us to be her parents; she will choose her career, her life and everything she wants.
And I hate people saying “you are a girl don’t do it”. Please raise your girls telling them the sky is the limit they can achieve anything that a man can do.
Raising a Boy
I know some of my co-authors are going to read this column carefully. Hehe
Everyone I know wants to have a boy, old people want a boy to carry the family name, and some people feel secure and complete that there is someone to take care of them, but I know most new moms don’t think that way.
I feel raising a boy is equally challenging as raising a girl. Boys are quite naughty and there is a lot of running around to do. But there is a lot of humor around with the boys and not much emotional turmoil to handle.
Guys don’t share a lot with their family so it’s very difficult to know what they are upto. But I’m sure you won’t freak out much if he says he is going out on a date, but the ones with girls would be like huh..
When it comes to abuse, many people are unaware that boys are also victims of this disgraceful act. So please protect your boys too.
My final message to all the moms with boys, you are responsible for the way he treats a girl. You need to teach him to respect women; you need to be an inspiration to your son. The first woman he knows is his mom and what he thinks of women starts from there.
I’ll let Anjjali and Reks add more on raising boys.