One Friday afternoon, me and my husband were having breakfast that turned to a petty argument. He wanted to take me and the kids to the cinema on the same night that I planned to cook roast beef for dinner. After both of us had an intense week at work, this is the closest we got to de-stress and spend quality time with the kids.
After a few more laughs and serious discussions, it hit me. Out of nowhere, I burst out crying and laughing at the same time because I realized that both of us are very dedicated to our family. After he laughed his ass off, he suddenly sat beside to comfort me.
Then, he whispered “I still get to bring the kids to watch movies tomorrow!”
Even before we got married, my husband (then-boyfriend) was more excited to have kids than I was. I’m really thankful he’s hyped to be a “father”. As a matter of fact, I sometimes think my husband can do parenting all by himself. LOL!
Aside from the special and occasional family bonding activities, my husband proposed that each of us get exclusive, one-on-one time with our kids—I get to bond with our kids, he gets to bond with them. After thinking about it, I agreed. Since then, we realized that our exclusive bonding moments had a positive effect on our kids.
Dads Need More Effort
Whatever happens, kids will always have a bond with mothers. 9 months in the womb is enough for kids to grow accustomed with their moms. On the other hand, fathers have to initiate and invest more effort to establish a relationship with their children.
In fact, all moms unconsciously say, or at one point have said “look, daddy!” or “there’s daddy!”. It may sound weird, but it establishes that this guy playing peek-a-boo in front of them should be identified as their father. This leads me to say that giving room for exclusive father-and-child bonding is important.
Also, babies and children who grew up with involved dads tend to be more emotionally stable, confident, and less likely to get into trouble. Additionally, they tend to develop better cognitive and linguistic skills. On top of that, it’s said that children who are able to spend specific times with their fathers tend to have higher IQ. This may be because a strong paternal involvement can help improve a child’s future career prospects.
My husband says he enjoys little unguarded and exclusive moments with the kids because he gets to intimately know them. Moments like driving them to school, potty-training sessions, and even bedtime stories, are all precious to him.
Moms are Safe Havens
So yes, hubby is doing a great job bonding with the girls. Now it’s time for some mommy time!
There are several studies identifying how important and beneficial mother-child bonding is. A tight bond between moms and kids means a greater feeling of safety and confidence in children. Also, a bond a la Pieta affects a child’s self-reliance, emotional stability, social competence, and their ability to nurture relationships with others.
There’s also a significant correlation between the marital quality and the extent of a father’s involvement in parenting, as well as in the quality of a father’s relationship with your children.
It’s a matter of dedication
I can go on here and list benefits of exclusive father-children and mother-children bonding.
But however you spend time with the children, quality is superior. Even if you and your husband spend the whole day together with the kids, the length of time won’t matter unless you do something great, something awesome, something that will make the moment count.
Ruth is a working mom blessed with lovely twins, Chelsea and Charlotte. In hopes to tame their energetic twins, she and her husband are trying to get them involved in yoga, with little success. Ruth works as a Community Manager for Afterschool.ae, the leading after school activity planning platform for kids and moms in Dubai. Follow her on twitter @fruthfulness
image courtesy: Google