Article is provided by Cloudnine, a hospitality chain
Image Courtesy: Baby Center
Marriage is a formally recognized union between a man and a woman who make a commitment to each other. This inherently fulfils their child-bearing and child rearing responsibility in the larger social context. It is a bond that gets strengthened when the ‘product’ of their conjugal union – a child- enters!! It is not the arrival of the baby in its form that initiates this bonding. Numerous studies have revealed that it is important for a husband and wife to bond with each other for better parenting abilities.
Where to start this bonding procedure?
A beginning needs to be made from the time of marriage. A bond needs to be, not merely created, but cemented with love and understanding. It doesn’t just spring forth as soon as two people come into wedlock. It needs to be consciously cultivated.
Love in itself is a positive emotion which can blossom in marriage. So the basic premise that follows a pregnancy in such a scenario is that love between two wedded partners has led them to a state of conjugal bliss. They have perpetuated this aspect of their acceptance of each other by deciding to beget a child – a love-child!!
A love-child??!!
People generally talk of a love-child in rather derogatory terms as that of a child born “out of wedlock”. Wikipedia, the various dictionaries of popular repute and the Thesaurus – all define ‘love-child’ as being an illegitimate offspring. But why should it be so?? Even a child conceived within a legitimately performed marriage is a love-child. He/she is a product of love officially recognised by the society.
Strengthening the bond
Pregnancy signals the start of an eventful period in the life of a woman. She goes through the “trauma” so to say, of seeing her physical and emotional self take a total toss. Until now, she has generally been taking care of her outward appearance in terms of figure, weight and looks. Pregnancy has now brought her to a situation when all that is going for a total ‘makeover’- broadening body frame, weight gain, bloated looks all over and not to miss the morning sickness bouts for many of them. In such a state, a woman naturally begins to dislike herself for unconfounded reasons. It is here that the husband needs to step in and create a bond with his pregnant wife.
Why is this bond important??
Bonding with a pregnant wife is of utmost importance not only for mitigating the sense of the physical loss of form of the woman but also to enhance her emotional feelings about this initial state of her bodily changes. She needs to be assured and reassured that this is just a passing phase and this eventful period of her entire pregnancy which is going to be a beautiful experience for both the husband and the wife. The husband needs to constantly tell his pregnant wife that what is in her womb is the product of their love and it is a period of preparation for both of them. Preparing themselves to be parents in future but now, preparing for the bond of their love – the unborn child- to experience the warmth and affection in its formation stages itself.
Is that possible???
Yes it is. Here we are talking of external bonding between partners. Today there are people like Teresa Robertson in the USA who specialize in the medico-psychological field of counselling parents before conception right through pregnancy to birth and babyhood. Amazing but true!! This has taken the form of a science to help better bonding between parents through pre-birth communication!! Sounds complicated but in simple terms, we can establish this emotional bonding between a man and his pregnant wife by just giving them the importance of what this could mean in the long run.
Importance of bonding with a pregnant wife
Most men unfortunately think that a pregnancy is a matter to be dealt by the woman herself. If he considers himself a ‘caring’ husband, he brings in his mother or mother-in-law to ‘take care’ of his pregnant wife. But frankly, is the woman looking for such ‘care’?? Not at all!!! Every married woman only looks to her husband as the one who can satisfy her emotional needs especially in her state of pregnancy. None can do it better than him is her contention. This doesn’t happen through explicit stating of needs. The man needs to understand that his wife is going to further the family cohesiveness with child birth and he should provide her with all the emotional comfort to make her feel important in this child-bearing role.
As they relate to each other in such a circumstance, it has been proved by studies that the unborn child too ‘experiences’ the warmth and love of its parents-to-be. It is a well known fact that an unborn child can feel the love showered on it by a mere caress and kiss. Who else could shower this love than the husband/father-to-be??? It is a great pastime activity for the husband and wife which not only strengthens the bond between them but also prepares them to share their familial responsibility of bringing up the child in future. It is also said that when such babies see the light of the world, their social and emotional state is better and they come forth as healthy, happy and manageable babies. Wouldn’t such babies be more desirable than babies who cry and are in distress at the slightest instance?? So it’s not about providing the newborn baby with all the love, care and attention that helps in the growth and development of a happy, healthy child. If it all begins with the husband and wife bonding with each other right from the time of pregnancy, then childbirth itself is a beautiful experience. If such a painful process can become a beautiful experience, then the demands of child-rearing will be a fun-filled learning period for the family. What more could we ask for in such a mechanical world??
About Cloudnine:
Cloudnine, believes that a child is life’s greatest gift and pregnancy is one of the most magical experiences nature can offer. This gift deserves to be nurtured and cared for, not just at birth, but for the entire duration of your pregnancy. Cloudnine provides you with world-class medical expertise, state-of-the-art facilities, a space filled with love and laughter and staff dedicated to the holistic well-being of you and your baby. With their new centers coming up in Chennai, Mumbai, Pune and Gurgaon, they are looking forward to spreading their founder, Dr. Kishore Kumar’s vision of world-class healthcare across the country.
