Toddler Tantrums

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Hello Everyone ,

Here is a post on request from one of our readers…. How to cope with your tot’s tantrums.
Anger, frustration, crying, howling, kicking, rolling on the floor …yes all of these are indications of a tantrum.

This is something most parents find very challenging. Toddlers (1yr-3/4yrs) are just exploring their new feelings, they dont really understand what is right or wrong . They are in the mode of discovering, exploring and just reacting to your expressions.

The mantra to cope with your child s tantrums is “to try to be calm, dont lose your cool” .

I am no expert in child psychology to understand the reasons behind these tantrums, but based on my little experience here are a few tips that have worked or atleast seemed to have worked for me.

- Take a deep breath and calm yourself. Dont react angrily. Our emotions get reflected on the child.
- Dont try to reason out with your child when he s in a fit of tantrum.
- Distract him with something else of his interest or just step out of the house/tantrum spot to get some fresh air
- Dont give in to unreasonable demands . Be firm but polite. Remember if you give in once, you will be asked to give in always
- Talk to your child after he settles down, ask him in simple words the reason for the tantrum and how he feels now. Make him feel that you are able to relate to him and the next time asking/talking nicely may help him with better results.
- Dont keep reminding him of his bad behaviour, instead show that you love and care for him.
- Think over and try to find out what could ve been the reason for you child to behave in such a manner. Maybe he s tired? sleepy? hungry? or just trying to see if he gets what he wants? , any family tensions?
- If you sense a tantrum is on the way, quickly try to handle it to avoid blowing up. Distract him ASAP!
- Your child is slowly gaining independence, so instead of just telling him what to do ,give him a few sensible options. That way he feels good making decisions and will be responsible too
- Avoid saying NO everytime, frame your sentence in a positive way instead. Believe me it really works!!

And yes dont forget to reward his good behaviour; even if you simply tell him “You were really good today, thank you” with a tight cuddly hug.
Pls Note : Rewards need not necessarily be a material thing . Dont unnecessarily bribe him with chocolates and gifts for being good.

Hope this helps … please do share your ways of coping with your tot’s tantrums. Thanks !

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7 Responses to Toddler Tantrums

  1. Aarti Khanna says:

    Hi reks.
    the article is very helpful. got some more useful info at

  2. stupendous post reks, specially where you discussed about the psychological problems and how we (moms) should react to them.. thanks for such a useful post :)

  3. Jaishri says:

    Superb article Reks, Im sure a lot of moms will relate to this.

  4. Shwetha K B says:

    One of the reason for tantrums i realized was attention… Just to seek my attention my l o starts with all kinds of crying…fussing… And the moment she knows i am noticing her and responding ,her mood changes…

    • reks says:

      Hmmm normal thing most kids do…especially when we are busy with the daily chores. Maybe they feel neglected and need to be assured that once we are done with our work, we will spend quality time together. A doctor once told me that we should treat the child as a part of the universe and not the center of our universe. So give them some time alone, don’t be constantly tying to entertain them.

  5. Shwetha K B says:

    Good one reks…. Will keep these tips in mind and handle

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