Tips To Help You Parent Your Children With Clashing Personalities

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By Admin,

Every child is unique. The way they interact with the world, the way the view events or situations and even their eating habits can differ. In fact, no two children are the same even in the same family. Having siblings with completely different personalities is actually quite common; the New York Times estimates that siblings are similar 20 percent of the time. For parents of multiple kids, this means that one parenting style or approach can elicit different responses from each child. Traditional Indian parenting styles center around attachment parenting and emphasis on developing moral and educational values. However, in many cases, a preset approach may not be suited to every child. For these parents, a question that is often asked is: How do I parent children with different personalities? As a parent, you want to encourage the development of your child’s personalities, but it can also present some challenges. Well, there is a way to do that, and it all begins with understanding your child’s personality.

View And Appreciate The Individuality

The best start to successfully parenting of different personalities is to understand the differences and commonalities between your kids. To do this, take the time to understand each child as an individual and their views. There are many tools and parenting resources widely available online that may help you categorize your child’s traits. His/Her everyday actions, reactions, and motivations will be key in helping you here.

According to Hippocrates, there are four temperaments; Choleric, Melancholic, Sanguine and Phlegmatic. Each of these has defining characteristics which will help you make the categorization. Only when you have identified your child’s temperament will you be able to successfully build a suitable approach to connect with them. This is also the way you can identify any character traits that could signal temperament conditions and get suitable help. A norm witnessed in India is the dismissal of problematic signs by parents, with the hope that the child will grow out of it, or that it could be remedied using strict enforcement of rules and punishments. This is not always the best way forward, and a consultation with a professional can be incredibly useful in constructing an individual plan.

Cater Your Approach To Your Child

You may find that one child that is happy, quite social and enjoys receiving attention, while another is more strong-willed and outspoken. For these two individuals, one approach would rarely be suitable. In a typical Indian household, mealtimes are preset, academic achievements are revered, and strict rules on playtime are enforced, but not every child will thrive in this environment. This is where you use can benefit from using differing techniques. Keep in mind that this does not mean preferential or inconsistent parenting, but instead refers to using tools and approaches that will appeal to the individual child. For those that enjoy the attention, spending a few extra minutes explaining a task may be the trick that builds your connection, and also gets them to listen. Strong-willed kids prefer to retain some aspect of control, and like to be heard. Including them in key decisions can address this.

 See Beyond The Parent Role – Get Inventive

It can also help to sometimes remove yourself from the parent point of view and attempt to see things from your child’s view. Think of what would motivate each child. While one child may be motivated by the results of excelling in school, others may find their joy in being outdoors or in vocational areas. One great way to get children with different food preferences to eat the same is to use different or fun food presentations or make a game out of it. While it may be difficult at first, the key to achieving it is all about balance. If one child prefers to be outdoors while the other prefers books and crafts, mix activities and get them to take turns. Each time they can alternate activities, with one child choosing the activities each day. Not only does this allow them some form of control, but it also teaches patience, the art of compromise and cohabiting. In short, it allows children to become well-rounded individuals, no matter what their personality type.

About admin

Jaishri is an IT professional and the founder of mommyswall. She is a mom of a lovely 4 year old and lives in Bangalore. She is also a certified Yoga instructor and believes in Natural living.
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