Pros and Cons on Having a Second Baby

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This post is for a dear friend of mine who I failed to recognize on the blog (because of the surname), sorry Shweta. So here’s the post with some expert mommy advice.

As most of you know my baby has not yet turned one, and  I have a long way to go even to analyze this topic. So I don’t have much to say, for me after a complicated pregnancy I need to think hard on this. But being a part of this awesome baby blog, I would like to encourage all my dear readers to have babies if you can afford it and if your health permits. Also we need to consider our Indian population and social responsibility.

Keeping my views neutral, I am posting answers from a wonderful group of mommies (in their own words). You can make up your mind after reading their answers. This makes it the longest post on mommyswall. Enjoy!!

Mommies for One Baby

• I was pretty sure I just wanted 1 baby…

• I’d personally prefer another child, since I think a sibling makes a world of a difference to a child. But like you said, the current cost of living makes it a difficult decision.

• I am going thru d same phase everyone says its very imp to have two babies as both d siblings can company each other…but as i always wanted to have one child so that i can provide d best to his or her with todays cost of living n fast life.,,again though i have a elder sis but i dont find my childhood was any different.

• Me n my hubby both being single, knows how difficult it is to be single child, so in deep down in heart want another sibling for my 1 yr old dotty but practicality says other. With current cost of living and after a highly complicated pregnancy, thinking of another baby is far away in mind

• I got to know that m allergic to anesthesia…. n so my body reacted…. now after all that planning a second child gives me nightmares….

• I believe in 1 child.. From d financial point of view esp.. I mean i don’t want to compromise on anything for my child.. Be it good education, clothes or any other facilities.. If i have a 2nd child il have to think twice b4 i spend on anything.. For eg Right now i buy clothes from mothercare.. But den i guess il buy from a local shop..

• .I think exactly the same….I second that one….I had taken my decision when I was, not even married and still stick to that….although unfortunately most ppl laugh when I talk abt population…I feel somewhere it has to start…..

• I was a single child but never felt that I missed on something ….but for my child I thought to have a sibling but step back thinking the expenses and nowadays once the kids grow its sure that they won’t be together as ppl move out of country or just can’t be together sure to many reasons known best to them

• My take is a sibling is always great to have around, one to grow up with and share and your joys and sorrows. I however, due to health reasons have to stop at one but am glad that my son has a lot of kids around him.

• my sister is 7 years younger to me and I could hardly share anything with her. I always spent time with my cousins.

Mommies for another baby

• Siblings’ r a must…..for future company of each other. ..

• I feel siblings’ r must. I have a 3.5yr old son n second is due any time now. . Life is beautiful having brother/sister around. U realize once u r married. .

• I agree.. I hav two elder sisters n they are my world . There are so many things I can’t share with my mom but with them !! Can’t imagine my life without them . Hav a 5 month old now .. But do intend to plan for another one down the line
• In the long run if you see your single child doesn’t have a blood related sister or brother. The family will get smaller with the next generations. We are 4 siblings and when all of us catch up the kids have an awesome time together. That’s not going to be the case with single kids.

• I personally feel that having a sibling is a great way to grow up. Sharing everyday life with them…especially stuff that one cannot share with parents.. I have a younger brother and we had a gala time when we were young.

• Sibling are must for me too…have a two year old and eagerly waiting for second one to arrive. They both are great company for each other now and esp after we won’t be around. Cost of living will always be on us to control and handle. Kids don’t demand high. in our times or older, parents raised more kids happily and atleast i never felt the pinch of cost of living…..

• Different opinion of different people. One thing is for sure. If you feel you can, go ahead and if not then leave. Few are there as what I am in between still to decide. But life is wonderful if your family is complete. Your children are also less behind you as they have their sibling to enjoy. Cost of living is a problem but can manage when we see our kids in front of us..

• I prefer two kids….. as siblings will be the only bestest support for each other when we parents will not be around for them…. so I have a 4yr old daughter and in favour of second one….someone whom she can trust blindly.

• Most of the parents of these days, decide on a single child after going thru the ‘sweet gestation time’ as well as the first couple of years. Mostly its on the request of the baby that a second one is planned. come the 4th or 5th bday, they start slowly making friends and demand to have all that their ‘friends’ have, and siblings are a part of it too….it looks difficult in the first glimpse, but its okay. i have a gap of 8 yrs btw both my chldren. i remember sitting outside the gynec’s office and crying on the phone to my friend since i couldnt imagine having a second baby after so many years, that too in a foreign country. i was so out of midnight feeds n diaper changes. but my second one is almost 4 and seeing my children together, i feel that was the best decision i ever took in my life. when we ‘are’ here, v ‘will try’ to give the maximum time to our children. today is the day of nuclear families and cousins and other extended family, are people they ‘meet’ occassionally.. what about a time when we ‘are not’ there. dont they need someone to be with them? and call family? Financial crunches are always there, we can never have enough money, can we? we just tailor our lives around our means. if you ask me, just go for it….thats

• Hi! Ive been n only child, very pampered… Being the only child i live wit a lotta insecurities

1. Since m married i keep worrying abt my parents all d time, some times i feel if i had another sibling my parents wud’ve had a lil more support (i now live close to my parents place, lucky for me)
2. Inspite of having a loving hubby n very attached son, I always think abt wat it’ll b like after my parents, i m extremely attached to them, like i cant think abt a day witout them.
I feel mayb having a sibling would hv helped me wit my inner conflict.

• I personally do not want my child to hv all these negative feelings, so inspite of all d other thots abt cost of living, my health issues etc etc i gave more priority to having a second baby more so for my lil ones company

• Sibling is fun to grow up with ….I hav a older sister n childhood was so complete though we live in different countries we r great emotional support to each other ….abt growing expenses during r parents time also salaries were less n bringing up 2 kids would hav been expensive …want to give ur child d best is a very relative term it means different to diffrent ppl …..we all never went to internatinal schools but each one of us is doing our best in life ….these days ppl make it sound difficult trust me I hav a 2.5 yr n now blessed with a newborn life has only got better n beautiful

• Hi, I guess a lot is already said about one or more. My view is still rather old school. Having seen my parents take the effort to give us what they could with a single earning member, with the father being posted out to god forsaken places and mum taking a large chunk of the responsibility, that meant we were told mildly but assertively things we could have and those that we had to wait for, but the best part was that it was ‘we’, my younger bro and me. So inflation or no inflation, money or more money, brands or mass, it is really how much we as parents want to do it for our kids. I know for one, had I married earlier and had my first one earlier, I would certainly had another one by this time, coz having one for your own, is not the same as having cousins. Cheers

Neutral

There’s no right or wrong to this…its entirely personal choice…u think ur kids are lonely n missing something…have another one…u think ur kids content the way he is…stay there…

Some more:

• I personally am v content with one.financial reason not a reason why I won’t have another. When children grow up no one knows where they will be.may be the bond is great maybe it’s not great at all.no guarantees. I have a daughter and feel blessed. Give all your emotions time to one.and one a lighter note I do not have the energy or will to go through all the hard work of having another one.:)it’s a lot of hard work,phew!loads. My personal opinion ,that’s it.each to his own.

  Also ,purpose ,fulfilment,love ,selflessness can be all felt with one child:)

• One child policy enforced by China is having a long term implication – the falling birth rate leading to a rise in elderly population , fewer people of working age to support the elderly , improved healthcare is making people live longer. I am not pointing to anyone’s remarks but there was a documentary shown on BBC last week about China and Japan( struggling at the moment with the disbalance)
• t’s very much a personal choice . A healthy baby is all we should ask for rather than a girl or a boy.
•  I have two and feel so good……whether they will be friends when they grow up, time will tell but for now they have a playmate 24 by 7….also when they do grow up they will have a chance of being there for each other…
• When that time comes ppl can have more children…..rtnow for india its absolute necessity to control population. …we r far from that
•  Its only when the parents are ready that you can introduce another sibling into your child’s life.
• Its just a choice one has to make. Being a single child with loads of friends I dont feel I missed anything. But im sure it must be a fun sharing, fighting with siblings… Finally it all depends on what you want